


until the flowers bloom (will you stay there a little longer?)

by daelighthwi



Series: The Adventures of PD101S2 [2]
Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: M/M, i really dunno, i'll add the tags as i go along, idk - Freeform, im sorry, it's not sad I promise, like what happened to them, my version of nuest, so its like an au but still close to real life, the other nuest members are just mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2018-12-07 17:23:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11628312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daelighthwi/pseuds/daelighthwi
Summary: Minhyun always seems to make Jonghyun wait.It begins, it has an end,this is what you will come back to.





	until the flowers bloom (will you stay there a little longer?)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thisseemslikefun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisseemslikefun/gifts).



> Playlist:  
> [1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VY2_R9om6Rs)  
> [2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hr9efkpRN0o)  
> [3](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avM2OBImVSc)  
> [4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMD8c0xv6mQ)
> 
>    
> comments are appreciated!!

The quaint little café on the corner near the Pledis building is where it all begins. 

It's quiet and beautiful and just Jonghyun's cup of tea. He thinks it's especially beautiful in the early morning, when the rays of the sun filter in through the transparent glass windows and form pools of light around the floor. He loves to watch the shadows dance as people move around outside, the café providing a welcome respite from the usual hustle and bustle of life. 

Most of all, he loves the feeling of anticipating the meeting he knows is about to take place; a meeting that has already taken place for months without fail, no matter the circumstances.

Today, he sits in his usual seat in silence and stares at the entertainment building from his seat, waiting and watching for someone - oh, there he is. Minhyun walks out of the Pledis building, hands jammed into the pockets on his long coat as he takes big strides towards the café. He pushes the door of the café open gently, bells above the door jingling to signify his approach. 

Jonghyun drinks in the sight of his longtime best friend and smiles. "You're here."

Minhyun slides into the seat opposite Jonghyun's. "Did you wait long? Have you ordered yet?" 

"I've ordered already," Jonghyun replies apologetically, "I got you a blueberry smoothie, since you can't drink coffee. Is that okay?" 

Minhyun smiles, sunlight falling across his features and highlighting every single flaw that Jonghyun just wants to reach his hand out to trace, to touch, to feel. But he doesn't. "Wah," Minhyun coos, eyes forming slits as he beams fondly at Jonghyun, "Our Jonghyun knows me so well."

Dazedly, Jonghyun wonders, if best friends normally want to pull the other into their arms, if best friends typically harbour an unexplainable need to pepper the other's face with kisses.

As Minhyun's face lights up with an appreciative smile as he sips at his still cold blueberry smoothie, Jonghyun realises that best friends don't feel emotions so intense and fierce as the one he feels when he's with Minhyun. Their situation is definitely something more than that, more complex than he can currently process, but a thought that Jonghyun is not unwilling to entertain.

"Ah," Jonghyun mutters to himself, "That's what it is." 

"What?" Minhyun looks up from the smoothie with juice slathered all over his mouth. Jonghyun's heart aches to kiss away the juice, but he doesn't. He picks up a tissue and swipes at Minhyun's mouth, wiping away the juice with a single flick of his wrist. 

"Nothing," Jonghyun sighs, "It's nothing." It's not a crush, Jonghyun knows, his feelings runs way too deep to just be a simple infatuation in his youth.

It's love.

He glances at Minhyun, who has begun to play with the sugar on the table, trying to secretly pour a packet into Jonghyun's cup of coffee sitting untouched on the table. It's too early to tell Minhyun anything, he might scare the one person he's always wanted to keep by his side away. No, Jonghyun decides, better to lie low and wait for Minhyun. He's okay if it's Minhyun. 

He'll be okay.

 

* * *

 

"Hey," Minhyun whispers to Jonghyun, nudging his sweaty hair out of his eyes, “Has the boss texted you yet?"

"No," Jonghyun pulls out his phone and squints at the bright screen. There's no notification at all. "Why?" 

"There's a really important announcement, everyone else has already been notified!"

He’s exhausted, but he’ll never reject an opportunity to talk and spend time with his best friend, so he opens his eyes and looks Minhyun in the eye. "Haven't heard anything the whole day, what's up?" 

"Our dating ban's been lifted!" Minhyun says excitedly. "We can get into relationships now, I think!" 

Jonghyun hums disinterestedly, body worn out from the long hours of practice. He's not planning to date anyone at the moment (other than Minhyun, but that's his own little secret). "Hmm, is that so? Do you have your eye on anyone?" 

Minhyun nods, fringe flopping in his eyes. "There's that girl I've been telling you about, do you remember her?" 

How could Jonghyun forget? Ebony wavy hair and hazel eyes sparkling with mischief, pretty pink lips with a prominent cupid's bow and the personality of an angel's. Jonghyun has heard so much about her in the past two months, heart breaking into pieces each time Minhyun bounds up to him like an overjoyed puppy and begins relating to him about her with enthusiasm. He ignores the dull ache in his chest and the sinking dread filling his mind and nods. "I thought she was fictional." 

Minhyun laughs, eyes curving into slits as he chuckles. "Of course not, silly! She's very real, and very much as in love with me as I am with her!" 

Jonghyun tries not to let the hurt show on his face and smiles with practised ease from years of putting on a cheesy grin for the fans. He can only hope that his smile does not shake around the edges. But Minhyun has always been too observant for his own good and he peers suspiciously at Jonghyun. 

"Hold on, is that a grimace I see?" 

"What- no- I'm not unhappy-" Jonghyun splutters, searching for something coherent to say without accidentally revealing his true feelings.

Minhyun's eyes narrow, and he squints playfully. "I know. You're jealous that I've got myself a girlfriend, while you're still alone." He says smugly, lips curling upwards. 

Jonghyun heaves a tremendous sigh of relief. "If that's what you say. I can't argue with you." He rolls onto his stomach and swats at Minhyun. "I'm sweaty, I have to go back to the dorms and shower. Want to come with?" 

Minhyun puts a finger up to his lips. "It's our secret, but I'm going out to meet her tonight. Expect me to be a little late." 

Jonghyun swallows thickly and nods. "Yeah, okay, sure." He isn't entirely sure how long this secret relationship will last but he wishes Minhyun all the happiness in the world. It's what he deserves. 

It's not until a month later, that he realises what's wrong with the situation. He stares at the (unsettlingly familiar) girl seated calmly on the couch,  _their_ couch and sighs. "Minhyun, why'd you bring her back?" Minhyun's head pops out from the kitchen. 

"I wanted to watch a movie with her but we'd be spotted at the cinema, and I didn't want to take any chances." Worry momentarily flits across Minhyun's face. "You're not mad, are you?" 

Jonghyun shakes his head. "A little surprised, is all." Minhyun's girlfriend beams at him and sticks her hand out to shake Jonghyun's hand. She introduces herself and Jonghyun listens closely. It's not until he hears her name does he realise why he feels so unsettled meeting her. He knows exactly where he's seen her before, at one of their fansigns. She had gifted Minhyun a desert fox plushie which he had immediately hugged to his chest, and later fought tooth and nail to keep. Jonghyun understands why now.

He lets go of her hand with a muttered apology and retreats to the kitchen, pulling Minhyun out of earshot. "Minhyun, are you dating a fan?" At Minhyun's silence, Jonghyun's stomach plummets, knees going weak beneath him. Minhyun knows that he's dating a fan, he knows what he's getting himself into, but does he really know the price they'll all have to pay? If his girlfriend cannot withstand the pressure and the lonely nights that are bound to come with dating an idol ( _failed idols,_ his brain helpfully supplies), she might choose to talk to someone about it or leak it to the press, and their relationship will be exposed to the public. 

Jonghyun remembers from his sunbaes' experiences how hectic and messy a cover up mission is, and most of all, he remembers the malicious comments and death threats received by them and their partners. 

He can't let that happen to Minhyun. 

"Do you know what you're getting into?" He asks, steeling himself. He can't afford to go soft at Minhyun's kicked puppy expression, this is for his own good. He doesn't exactly know which part of him has surfaced to give the talk to Minhyun - the rational side, or the side of him that he has tucked into the deep recesses of his mind and suppressed for a while now. "If anything goes wrong, if - no, _when -_ our fans catch you-" 

"They'll be happy for me!" Minhyun reasons, fist thumping down on the kitchen countertop. "I know they'll accept her!" 

"Will they really?" Jonghyun raises an eyebrow. "Or will they turn their backs on you?"  _And Nu'est_ , Jonghyun thinks, the unspoken words clear for both him and Minhyun. A dating scandal will not be good for their group, and even Minhyun isn't selfish enough to place his own happiness above the wellbeing of their group, which is already struggling to stay afloat. 

"Alright," Minhyun relents after a few painful heartbeats of tense, strained silence, "What do you suggest that I do? I can't just dump her, that would be worse." 

"I don't know," Jonghyun confesses, "Just be careful." 

Minhyun nods tersely and leaves the kitchen, roughly shoving at Jonghyun's shoulder as he passes. It hurts, to say the least, having Minhyun angry at him. But as Nu'est's leader, he has to do what he has to do. Even if it means that Minhyun hates him, he'll do it for the kids. 

It still doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. 

And it hurts so,  _so_ badly. 

From that day, Minhyun pointedly ignores Jonghyun, sneaking out in the middle of the night and returning in the early morning before Jonghyun wakes up. Minhyun doesn't realise that Jonghyun lies awake for the weeks that Minhyun repeatedly leaves the dorms, tossing and turning in the sheets. It's only until he hears Minhyun quietly crawl back into his bunk below Jonghyun's that Jonghyun can close his eyes and sleep for a blessed two hours before Minki or Aron comes to wake him up. 

Jonghyun brushes it off like he doesn't care when Dongho confronts him about it later on in the day, about why Minhyun's been distant. He tells Dongho that Minhyun's stressed about their future and Dongho retreats with a sullen look, the gravity of their situation weighing heavily in his mind. 

The dull ache of Minhyun's absence reduces itself to a low hum after weeks of silence and longing looks on Jonghyun's part. Then, by a miracle, Minhyun comes back to him, all on his own, without any prompting. 

The night feels different, something stirring within Jonghyun. On this night, he cannot fall asleep as usual, but he settles into a comfortable position and waits for Minhyun's arrival. Unlike other nights, Minhyun comes back and crashes into their rack of clothes. Jonghyun sits up abruptly and hurries over, helping Minhyun to his feet. Minhyun grips Jonghyun's shoulder and roughly pulls him into a tight hug. 

Jonghyun squirms and tries to get out of Minhyun's grasp, but Minhyun's breathing is laboured and heavy, so Jonghyun settles down and lets Minhyun squeeze the life out of him. It's not until he feels a damp spot growing on his shirt does he realise that Minhyun is  _crying_. 

"Minhyun? What's wrong?" Jonghyun whispers, hand reaching up to give soothing pats on his head. "Did something bad happen?" 

"You were right all along," Minhyun sobs, fists tightening in Jonghyun's shirt, "She broke up with me. If I had listened-" 

"Minhyun, no, it's alright, don't blame yourself," Jonghyun hushes, pulling a tissue free from the tissue box nearby. "You wouldn't have know. You couldn't have." 

"But you knew!" Minhyun's teary eyes lock gazes with Jonghyun's own. "I'm sorry for not listening and I'm sorry for avoiding you-" Minhyun coughs, his entire body shuddering as he takes in huge gulps of air, "And I'm sorry for making you wait for me to come to my senses." He breaks down into uncontrollable sobs, knees buckling as he crashes to the floor. 

Jonghyun sighs as he guides Minhyun to the bed on unsteady feet. He tucks him in gently. "I didn't wait long," he finds himself saying, trying to reassure Minhyun, "Don't worry about me. We'll be fine."

 

* * *

 

Jonghyun's always known that the company regards them as a failed group and honestly, Jonghyun does too. He loves each and every one of Nu'est (one more than others) but he has to admit that they're not doing well. 

Produce 101 Season 1 had done well, Jonghyun hopes that by joining Produce 101 Season 2 that they'll be more well-received by the public. 

"No," Aron says immediately after hearing Jonghyun's suggestion. "No way." 

Jonghyun winces and Minhyun lays a comforting hand on his shoulder. They're gathered at the dining table like they have done for about 5 years for dinner together and Jonghyun had decided to bring it up to them before bringing the idea to the CEO. He wants to give them a choice in what they want to do. Hearing Aron's decision, his shoulders sag, the little bubble of hope within him deflating. Aron has always been the most prideful one of them all, what made him think that Aron would agree to this? 

"I was hoping we could all do it together," Jonghyun explains, "This could very well be our last time standing on stage, we're not doing well and the company sees that. Our contacts are going to end soon, Produce 101 Season 2 is a risk I'm willing to take." 

"I'm in." Minhyun's words are comforting, steady and Jonghyun is glad to have his best friend through this trying time. He's as scared as they all are and he wishes this option would never have made itself available, but he's desperate and is willing to let his pride take a few hits. Dongho and Minki say they'll join as well to Aron's chagrin, and Jonghyun knows that he'll have to shelter and look after them all now. 

He would have loved to have Aron come along as well, to have the entire Nu'est dominate Produce 101 Season 2, but it's his decision to stay behind. Jonghyun's not going to force him into doing something he doesn't want to. 

"The whole lot of you are crazy," Aron mutters as they gather in a group hug, "But I'll man the fort when you're gone." 

Minhyun sticks his head out. "Suddenly, I don't feel like going." He ruffles Aron's hair, "What if this punk burns the place down? I'll lose all my savings!" He doesn't mention the desert fox plushie that has mysteriously vanished (courtesy of Jonghyun) from its usual perch on Minhyun's bed. They laugh together and dig into their Chinese takeout, Dongho stealing bits of food from Minki's plate when he isn't looking. 

Jonghyun wishes this moment will never pass. 

But it does, all too fast for comfort, and soon, they're nervously boarding the car to head to the filming location. Minhyun wakes up late despite several attempts to drag him out of bed and he comes flying out of the dorm with a wild bedhead and arms full of snacks. He pulls Jonghyun's luggage open and stuffs them all in, winking at an unamused Jonghyun. 

"What are you doing?" Jonghyun asks, craning his neck to peer over Minhyun's shoulder. "Hey- stop- the snacks are going to burst open in my bag! What happened to yours?" 

Minhyun gives him a stink eye. "We'll be in the same class together and I'll be able to easily grab my food from you, why are you fussing? Come on, help me make them fit!

The bag does eventually close with a  _snap_ , and Jonghyun reclines in his seat and tries to remember his rap. Minhyun's fingers trace circles in his thigh. "Nervous?" He asks, fingers continually leaving fiery trails in their wake. 

Jonghyun gulps. "Yeah, we're actually doing this. And without Aron. Oh my god, he's going to burn down the dorm." His hands fly to his pocket for his phone and he pulls it out. "I have to call Seventeen," he babbles, "Tell Seungcheol to look after Aron and make sure we don't have to come back to the charred remains of our home." 

Minhyun eases the phone down and places his hand on Jonghyun's knee. "Relax," Minhyun tells him, arranging the part of Jonghyun's hair neatly, used to this after years of sitting in front of mirrors, waiting for their turn to perform as their stylists worked magic on their faces and hair. "We're Nu'est, we've done this before. We're going to be fine." 

As Jonghyun lies awake in the Produce 101 dorms later that night, staring at the ceiling and listening to Dongho's snores, he thinks that Minhyun lied. He can't seem to fall asleep without Minhyun, he's recently discovered, and the distance between the 'D' dorms and the 'C' dorms seems like a vast chasm that he cannot cross. They had walked in to many whispers about them and when they'd walked on stage, seeing Kahi right in front of them made Jonghyun's stomach churn. Then, seeing Samuel's distraught face, he had to look away. He couldn't face Samuel, not when he was unable to be a good enough role model for the young boy who had come to the company so early in life and sacrificed most of his youth to fuel his yearning for performance and dance. 

Their performance was a mess, they weren't up to standard and Jonghyun kept forgetting that Aron was not in their set. There was a strange empty feeling growing in the pit of Jonghyun's stomach as he is suddenly hit with the feeling of loss. 

He misses them. 

Mostly, he misses Minhyun and the comforting feeling of knowing that he's just a stone's throw away. The 'C' dorms are painfully far away and Jonghyun resolves to work harder to be able to meet Minhyun at the top. 

The re-evaluations, however, prove that not everything will go the way he wants it to. He cannot hide the way his face falls in disappointment as he watches Minhyun push open the door and walk in. The cameras catch it all. Minhyun purposely evades Jonghyun's dejected gaze and shuffles over slowly, lowering himself to the ground beside him.

"Hey," he murmurs as if he hasn't just caused all of Jonghyun's plans to be thrown out the window, "Haven't seen you in a while." 

"What are you doing here?" Jonghyun seethes, concealing his outward anger behind a mask of neutrality. "You don't deserve to be here." 

"None of us do," Minhyun replies flatly and that's all that's exchanged between them. Jonghyun stands to get his results and snaps his card shut in shock. He's made it to 'B' class, but none of them do. Dongho stays in 'D', Minki moves down to 'F', and he's all alone in 'B'. In his interview, he mentions that he feels guilty and sorry for the others that they're stuck where they shouldn't be, but that's only the most prominent and obvious of the barrage of emotions flying through his mind. It feels like the first three nights all over again, just lonelier. While training for the MCountdown stage, he makes some new friends, but none can compare to Minhyun. 

Lying on his bunk surrounded by people he has only known for less than a week, Jonghyun hates the way it feels like the first three nights all over again, just lonelier. While training for the MCountdown stage, he makes some new friends, but none can compare to Minhyun. Then again, he's never loved someone like he loves him. 

Time passes quickly, days filled with relentless dance practices and hurried food breaks. Jonghyun catches fleeting glimpses of Minhyun and his heart yearns for him. He tells himself to be patient, that the wait will pay off and they will eventually meet together at the top.

One night, he's sleeping on his bunk, curled up in himself, eyes wide open. He knows that he can't sleep, it's pointless trying. His head swims with loneliness, the darkness suffocating and the blankets restricting. He drowns in a sea of feelings and stares up at the bare ceiling, watching the shadows of cars outside passing by as time brushes by unapologetically. 

He doesn't know when or how, but he slowly begins to drift off, eyelids growing heavier until he cannot bear to open them anymore. He welcomes the sleepiness with open arms and sighs contentedly. It's been so long since he was able to fall asleep, let alone sleep soundly. He rolls over to get comfortable and burrows his nose into his warm pillow. 

Which is harder than it should be. 

And very much alive. 

His eyes fly open, all traces of the previous sleepiness gone. Minhyun blearily opens an unamused eye to glare at Jonghyun before laying a hand over his face. "Sleep," he grunts, smushing Jonghyun's nose against his upper arm. "It's late." 

Jonghyun blinks rapidly in surprise. He's not sure exactly when Minhyun snuck into the 'B' dorms (though he might have a pretty accurate guess) or how he managed to do it without waking anyone up, but Minhyun's presence is more than welcome, and Jonghyun falls into a deep sleep for the first time in days. The wait is over, he has Minhyun by his side, even if it will not last for long.

He wakes up early the next morning feeling rejuvenated. Minhyun is gone, but the side of the bed he had occupied remains warm and his distinct scent lingers in the bunk. Jonghyun presses his nose into the linens and takes a deep breath, inhaling the scent that is so Minhyun and so familiar. 

He doesn't think it was a dream, having Minhyun by his side again. He doesn't want it to be. 

He pulls on his 'B' class sweater and heads for the training centre quietly, hands tucked into the pockets of his winter jacket. A hand casually drapes itself over his shoulder and Jonghyun looks up to see Minhyun who grins happily down at him. "Hello there," Jonghyun says, "What made you do it?" 

"Do what?" Minhyun feigns ignorance before he rubs his forehead against Jonghyun's hair, messing it up slightly. "Can't I miss my best friend?" At Jonghyun's stink eye, Minhyun exhales deeply through his nose. "Fine," he grumbles, "I couldn't sleep without you around. It's a big problem I have, so don't you go around making fun of me. That's why I couldn't do well for my evaluations." 

Jonghyun doesn't bother to stop his lips from curling upwards, forming a happy smile which stays there for their entire walk to the training centre. Minhyun depends on him a lot, he realises, and it's something that makes him feel proud, knowing that Minhyun needs him as much as he does. It's not that long a walk but Jonghyun and Minhyun walk together for what seems like an eternity, basking in the enjoyment that comes from spending time with someone you treasure. They don't say a word but it's a comfortable silence, one that comes about when you know everything there is to know about the other and there is nothing left to say. 

"Today we'll be sorted into the first evaluation groups." Minhyun says abruptly and he blinks. "I wonder who I'll be with." 

"I don't want to be against Park Jihoon, Lee Daehwi, Jang Moonbok or Samuel." Jonghyun says as they wait in front of the training centre for the doors to open. "I think it would be hard to win against these people who are already more famous than Nu'est managed to be." 

"Ah, Samuel," Minhyun ohhs, purposely ignoring Jonghyun's comment about their popularity, "He was so cute when he was in Pledis! Now he's grown up so well, it makes me feel old." Mischief suddenly glints in Minhyun's eyes as he leans in closer to Jonghyun, wrapping himself around his arm. "But our Jonghyunnie will still love and take care of me when I'm old and wrinkly, right?" 

Jonghyun's heart flutters.  _Of course,_ he wants to say,  _I could never leave you_. "You wish," is what he says instead, batting Minhyun away insistently, "I'll look after Minki, but not you, you pest." 

Minhyun pouts and is about to say something when Dongho bombards them from behind, smelling like his aftershave. "Did you remember to shave today?" Minhyun laughs, brushing a hand under Dongho's chin and feeling the stubble there. As the years went on, Dongho's facial hair began to grow faster than any of theirs and had become a source of amusement for the Nu'est members whose facial hair never reappears as fast as his does. Dongho looks the manliest out of all of them and yet, he's the softest (aside from Jonghyun who is a literal bleeding heart).

"I shave everyday!" Dongho protests, trying to fight off Minki who is clinging onto his back for dear life, "It's not my fault that the camera angles are bad and show my stubble!" 

"Right," Jonghyun laughs, "Blame it on the camera crew." 

Dongho whirls on Jonghyun with a look of utter betrayal so much so that the other trainees eavesdropping or happening to chance upon the four of them burst into peals of raucous laughter. "Not you too!" 

 

* * *

 

Representative BoA stands before them, announcing the commencement of the first evaluations which includes the team selections and the song selections. "You'll be escaping from your levels," she says into the microphone, taking occasional peeks at her cue cards. Relief floods Jonghyun. Minhyun, Dongho and Minki can now put their rankings behind them and move on. "The winners of the group battle stage will get 3000 points extra. Center Lee Daehwi, please come up and choose your members." 

Daehwi bounds up to the podium and immediately recruits the most popular members to his team and Jonghyun crosses his fingers and prays that whichever team he is in, he won't be up against this particular team. From where he stands, he catches Samuel's eye. The boy smiles brilliantly at him and Jonghyun grins back. He'll find him later and catch up on the past 2 years that they haven't seen each other. 

"Now, Lee Daehwi will be choosing the next person to select their team." Daehwi wrings his hands together and reaches a hand into a box and draws out a capsule. Jonghyun waits with bated breath as Daehwi carefully unfolds the slip of paper tucked inside. He wants it to be his name. He knows who he wants to pick, starting from Hwang Minhyun. Call him biased, but Minhyun has the most melodious voice and will likely fit any concept. 

"Pledis Entertainment," Jonghyun closes his eyes, "Hwang Minhyun!" He stands still and claps for Minhyun, feeling genuinely happy for him. A big, goofy smile tugs at his lips and he lets it stay there. Minhyun is smart and very much musically aware, because of this, he'll likely not pick Jonghyun to be in the same team as him (since Jonghyun can only bring him down) but he will take the talented members who are sure to stand out. Even if he may not do well for this evaluation, Minhyun will, at least, and this is what's most important. 

As per Jonghyun's instinct, Minhyun picks Jaehwan first. Jonghyun silently agrees with Minhyun's decision. Jaehwan is a talented singer and will help to bring the standard of the group up. Kang Daniel is next, pastel pink hair bobbing around as he goes to stand next to Jaehwan. A good choice, again, on Minhyun's part, Daniel is an excellent dancer and a quick learner, practices will go fast and smoothly with him around. 

Then, Minhyun picks Kwon Hyunbin. It's smart when thought about from one viewpoint, but risky. If he cannot improve by the time the live stage comes round, Minhyun is doomed. 

A risk is something they cannot afford to take. 

Minhyun picks Seongwoo, a dancer with visuals that shine and a personality that is even brighter. With the addition of Seongwoo, Minhyun's team is likely to get more screentime. Jonghyun silently counts the members and their talents. Two singers, two dancers, and one rapper. 

 _Minhyun is going to pick a rapper_ , Jonghyun realises. He is going to pick a rapper to balance out the team and have an all-rounded team that could possibly take over Daehwi's team. 

"Pledis' Trainee Kim Jonghyun." Minhyun says, raising the microphone to his lips. His team is complete and Minhyun looks satisfied with the lineup, stepping back to stand with the rest of the team. 

It doesn't register in Jonghyun's mind that his name has been called until the people around him are congratulatorily patting him on the shoulders and slapping his back. He goes and stands meekly beside Ong Seongwoo and habitually hunches his shoulders, making himself look smaller. Minhyun directs a smug smile at Jonghyun he picks the person who chooses their group next. Jonghyun keeps his neutral expression steady although his heart flutters in his chest. Minhyun chose him. There are many better rapper than him in the lineup (for example, Woo Jinyoung or Park Woojin) but Minhyun chose  _him_. 

When all of it was over, they stand in their teams and get ready for the song selection. They'll have to run for the song of their choice, but Minhyun is terrible at running, especially when he feels that it's uncalled for. Minhyun moves for Boy in Luv, but ultimately does not manage to get it. Jonghyun pats his back as he returns. "It's okay," he says to Minhyun, although he's not sure if he's telling Minhyun that or himself, "It's fine. We'll pull through. Our team is good, you did well." Minhyun squeezes his hand wordlessly. 

They stand together in a line and await the group that will choose them. No one does. Jonghyun likes to think that it's because they're considered a formidable opponent. 

Minhyun's team gets allocated as Sorry Sorry Team 2 by default. Minhyun pulls Jonghyun close as they move to the back of the line and whispers, "I'm going to need your help with this one; we have three rappers but a song with close to zero rap parts."

"We'll be fine," Jonghyun replies, cupping a hand around his mouth so that the cameras do not catch his words, "Sometimes rappers double up as singers and they're completely fine."

They gather into their small groups afterwards and introduce themselves. Minhyun sits beside Jonghyun like he always does and grabs onto Jonghyun's hand. Jonghyun stares at their intertwined hands with mixed feelings, eyes widening by a fraction. 

"Responsibility is most important for a leader." Jonghyun hears Minhyun say and is snapped back into reality. They're choosing a leader position and Jonghyun hunches his shoulders, trying to make himself as small as possible. 

"I think that a person who could command all of us would be best suited for a leader," Seongwoo says, supporting his chin with his hands. He seems to be trying to imply something, but when he is met with blank looks from the rest of the team, he continues, "When I saw him, I just felt it; those leader vibes." 

Everyone seems to get it now and their heads slowly turn to look at one person; Jonghyun's face is falling, his heartbeat quickening. His heart plummets to his stomach and his head spins. He doesn't deserve the leader position, he can't keep the team afloat-

Minhyun sneaks a glance at him and Jonghyun catches it, he knows what he is thinking. He blinks rapidly, trying to communicate to Minhyun that he doesn't deserve the leader position, to maybe dissuade the rest of the team, not support them but Minhyun purposely averts his eyes, looking anywhere but straight at him. Jonghyun's palms grow clammy and he wipes them on his orange sweatshirt, sweating under the intense and hopeful gaze of the team members.

 

("Kim Jonghyun hyung," Hyunbin will later say in an interview, awe colouring his voice. "When you see him, you just know it. It's the quiet intensity of a natural leader, and Jonghyun hyung overflows with a gentle authority that's rare; even as you walk on the streets, you just can't find someone like this." 

Minhyun will add on in his own interview, "He's very earnest and works hard. I've known him for a long time now and no one suits the position of leader more than him. He's already been a leader before," Minhyun will smile wistfully, remembering when they'd first debuted, "He's my leader. I trust him with my life." )

 

"Is it okay?" Minhyun asks, ever concerned about Jonghyun's well-being. "Are you okay with this decision?" It's one of the small things Jonghyun appreciates about Minhyun. He has never forced Jonghyun into anything, not if he can help it. And similarly, now, he's presenting Jonghyun with a choice, he's giving him an option to back out of it despite knowing that there will definitely not be anyone else who can lead the team as well as Jonghyun can. 

Jonghyun swallows around the lump in his throat and scratches at the fear itching beneath the surface of his skin. His neck prickles and his hand moves to pat the skin there. "I'm okay with this," he replies, voice strained, "I can be the leader." 

There is a small ceremony held between the team to place the leadership sticker on Jonghyun's shirt, right above his heart. The sticker is small and weighs close to nothing, but somehow, it makes Jonghyun's heart feel ten times heavier. Minhyun begins clapping and Jonghyun's fears dissipate. He'll just have to make the most out of this, and he'll bring this group to victory. Even if it means he gets left behind. 

The others will win. They'll make it through. 

Jonghyun will see to it. 

* * *

 

"I was a bit scared of being a leader; if I don't do well, I could harm the others," Jonghyun confesses later that night when he is being interviewed. The staff member turns away with a pained expression and discreetly wipes away a tear. "So to become a leader, I think I'll try to give way to the other members." Because sometimes, as a leader, you have to be prepared to invest everything in your team and not expect anything back in return. Jonghyun tries not to expect anything, but more often than not, he finds himself hoping for a little something back, just a little more happiness or a greater sense of fulfilment. Or maybe even Minhyun's heart (but that's too far a stretch). 

Minhyun's head pops out from behind a huge camera and Jonghyun starts at Minhyun's grim expression. He hadn't even realised that Minhyun was there. The staff member turns back around and continues on with her interview, bringing a tissue up to her nose as she continues. "The position of leader is very overwhelming," Jonghyun says slowly, fiddling with the hem of his sweatshirt. "But I won't give up. For the sake of the kids."

It slowly dawns on him what he has just called his teammates and he is struck with a realisation. 

Oh my god.

He called them kids.  
  
He's mothering them.  
  
The staff member laughs it off joyously and Minhyun stifles his laughter with the back of his hand. This clip of his slip up will definitely make it into the final cut, Jonghyun thinks miserably. He catches Minhyun after both of their interviews on the way back to the dorms, having already shifted to the same room.

  
  
(The moment they heard that they'll be staying with their current team, Minhyun had whirled around and screamed words of happiness right into Jonghyun's face.  
"I've missed staying with you! Maybe I can get a good night's rest from now on!" Minhyun yelled, shaking Jonghyun's shoulders. Jonghyun just went with it and nodded, happy to be back in such close proximity with him. )

  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't choose you first," Minhyun says, "Sorry you had to wait in suspense, that must've been hard. You didn't wait too long, right?"  
  
Jonghyun shakes his head. It's good enough to him that Minhyun had even thought of him. "Nah, I would have done the same. Jaehwan is one of the most valuable assets we have right now." He pushes open the door to their dorm and stares at the scene unfolding before them. Jaehwan is holding a mini concert, voice lilting and loud even at 1 am in the morning, Hyunbin is lying on his bunk, already dead to the world. Daniel's sleeptalking punctuates the song at inappropriate intervals, butchering the melody of Skyfall. Seongwoo looks murderous (though on it, it just looks like an enraged kitten) and is absolutely ready to smash Jaehwan's guitar over his head. 

Jonghyun's mouth falls open. He suddenly misses Aron, who would actually have smashed the guitar over Jaehwan's head and effectively put an end to the complaints travelling from the adjacent rooms. Although, Jonghyun muses, it is harder to hide a dead body. 

He claps his hands, startling Daniel awake for about five seconds (before he mumbles sleepily and falls back asleep), and Jaehwan looks up at them. "Okay," Jonghyun says, bemused, "It's time for you to put away the guitar and cease singing, Jaehwan, the concert should have ended hours ago." Jaehwan tsks lightly but obeys, placing his beloved guitar back into its case and he snuggles into the covers. 

Seongwoo raises a thumbs up at them from where his face is pressed into a pillow. "Thanks Jonghyun, our leader is indeed the best choice." He yawns, clearly tired from their practice for the day. 

Minhyun slings an arm over Jonghyun's shoulder and he staggers forward to accommodate both their weights. His eyes drift to Minhyun, who is smiling that beautiful smile of his that reaches his eyes. Jonghyun unconsciously feels a smile tugging at his lips as he watches Minhyun's side-profile. "Of course, Jonghyun is the best." Minhyun locks gazes with him and he smiles appreciatively. "I don't know what I'd do without him." 

Jonghyun's heart flutters in his chest and Jaehwan oohs at them. 

 

* * *

 

He's 14th. The blood rushes to Jonghyun's head and he can hear his heartbeat ringing in his ears. He didn't get in. 

He accepts his position with a nod and claps politely, happy to at least have gotten this far. His eyes travel to Minhyun who looks infuriated and lost, hands gripping the armrests of the 9th position tightly, knuckles turned white. Ha Sungwoon is 11th, and Jonghyun's teeth worry at his bottom lip in concentration. They'll have a strong vocal base, so it'll be good. 

"Cheer up," he tells Minhyun after they've greeted the national producers, "At least you know this group won't be a failed one like us. You'll taste the sweet taste of many victories." 

Minhyun glares tearfully at him. "Don't say that. It's not the same without you or Nu'est. It won't be as beautiful." 

"I'll be supporting you all the way," Jonghyun reassures, "It's going to be like I'm right beside you." 

"But you're not!" Minhyun roars, enraged. "If only they hadn't announced my position-" 

"You wouldn't have gotten in then! What difference would it make? We would still be separated!" 

Minhyun blinks away the tears in his eyes and turns around, stomping off backstage. The camera follows him as he leaves and Jonghyun bows at the VJ. There is a tap on his shoulder and Jonghyun grits his teeth together as he turns to face the person who wishes to speak to him. 

It's Hyunbin, who has tears streaming down his face like a waterfall. He staggers into Jonghyun, despite being very much taller than him, and promptly soaks Jonghyun's blazer with his tears. Hyunbin's makeup is ruined and his hair is a wild mess. "J-jonghyun hyung," he chokes out, gripping his blazer tightly, "What's going to happen to you? You didn't make it in- y-you said it's the end for you-" 

Jonghyun pats Hyunbin's back comfortingly. "Hyunbin-ah, it's okay. We've proven that we matter to the K-netz now, I'll be fine." He pushes as Hyunbin's shoulder to look at his face. "Ah, you've messed up your makeup, don't cry anymore, hmm?" 

"You deserve to be in," Hyunbin wails, "It's not fair! Samuel should have been picked too!" Jonghyun's eyes wander to Samuel who has his arms wrapped tightly around Jisung's neck as he breaks down in tears. The boy has already suffered through two missed opportunities, he doesn't deserve this third one. 

"The world isn't fair, but we can only move forward. Who knows, our popularity might even be boosted." Jonghyun comforts, patting Hyunbin's back. "I should find Minhyun, Hyunbinnie. He's having a hard time." 

Hyunbin nods wordlessly and lets him go, latching onto Daniel instead, who welcomes him with open arms. Little Woojin stands by the side, grinning up at Hyunbin and patting whichever part of Hyunbin he can reach. 

Jonghyun winds through the crowd of crying trainees and their families until he comes to a door. He can hear Seonho talking through the door, and where Seonho is, Minhyun should be as well. He twists open the doorknob and enters, seeing Minhyun sitting dejectedly on a chair. Minhyun takes one look at him and begins to cry again. "Yah, why are you crying?" Jonghyun as he stands in front of Minhyun, fiddling nervously with his fingers. "Congratulations." He tries not to let his voice shake too much, but he knows that his sadness is written clearly all over his face. 

Seonho giggles brightly, ever the vitamin of them all. "It's his second time crying since I've seen him, do you know that?" Jonghyun wonders how Seonho can stay so happy even though he didn't get into Wanna One as well as having to be separated from Guanlin who has grown alongside him for two whole years. Minhyun is dragged away to speak to his family and an interview afterwards, so Jonghyun goes to find their manager first. 

"I'm proud of you all," his manager says, "You all are first-place in my heart."

"Of course you would say that," Minki says, bounding up to them after having caught up with all the trainees that he's mothered and missed, "We're the stars of your show." 

A laugh bursts forth from Jonghyun's lips for the first time that night. It feels good to be back in some familiar company. 

 

("The vocal position evaluations taught me more than just singing, Jonghyun hyung." Seonho will say when Jonghyun asks him about it away from the cameras. "Nothing bad can last forever you know, I'll see Guanlinnie hyung soon. Also, I'll have a lot of things to do while waiting even if I'm not in Wanna One! Have you heard of JBJ?" 

Jonghyun will laugh and Seonho will barrel on with a twinkle of mischief in those bright eyes, "Watch me tag along for everything Wanna One does; Jonghyun hyung, you can come along too!")

 

True evil isn't always obvious, Jonghyun reflects in the silence that prevails in the car as they leave for Nu'est's dorms, shoulders pressed into the plush seats of the backseat. Life isn't a Disney movie, evil isn't categorized based on heavy makeup, hunched backs, dark colours. True evil cannot be distinguished at first sight, and Jonghyun knows this now. He's seen true evil with his own two eyes.  
  
True evil is Produce 101 pitting friends against each other, where a beautiful friendship would have blossomed between Samuel and Daehwi now sits a wide chasm deeper than the Mariana Trench.  
  
True evil is denying people with talent the right to shine and eliminating them cruelly, forcing them to say goodbye and to turn friends into people they had once known.  
  
True evil is the last stage of Produce 101, where they had called Minhyun's name and he had bounced up there, eyes shining with joy. He'd whispered into Jonghyun's ear a promise as he'd passed, "I'll wait for you up there. So, hurry up." Jonghyun squeezes Minhyun's hand, nerves settling at the simple gesture as he watches him leave. When Jonghyun is announced at 14th, and Dongho at 13th, Minhyun's face darkens.  
  
True evil is following Minhyun around with a camera, not even providing him with the privacy he needs to go and have a good cry. Minhyun doesn't even get to hug Jonghyun and cry into his shoulder without the prying lens of the camera. "That's enough," Jonghyun mouthed to the VJ, but he shook his head no. "We need footage," the VJ replied, tilting his head to the camera, "Can't stop filming."  
  
"I can hear you thinking," Minhyun says miserably from where his head rests on Jonghyun's shoulder. A finger reaches upwards to prod at Jonghyun's forehead. "I'm the one who's going to have to live without you all for 2 years."  
  
"I'm going to miss you," Jonghyun murmurs, careful not to wake Minki or Dongho who are sitting in the front row, "I really will. Might not be able to sleep well, actually."  
  
"Wait for me," Minhyun's voice gets louder, and Dongho's shoulder twitches. "I'll be back soon and you'd better not replace me. I'll know if you do. So, wait for me."  
  
Jonghyun draws in a shuddering breath. "Even if it hurts?"  
  
Minhyun nods. "Especially if it hurts." He dips his head and Jonghyun knows that he's mentally berating himself for being selfish, but it's so Minhyun that Jonghyun doesn't mind.  
  
"Okay," Jonghyun pushes at Minhyun's head, "I'll wait. Sleep, you're not going to be able to survive without me."  
  
Minhyun shifts so that his entire body weight leans on Jonghyun. "Don't remind me," he says hollowly. His eyelids slip shut and Jonghyun huffs out a silent puff of air sadly.  
  
True evil is making him live without his best friend (and unrequited love) for two whole years.

 

* * *

 

"Oh thank god," Minhyun breathes as he watches Aron spill a bowl of cereal onto the floor, "You're alive." 

"Of course I'm alive!" Aron protests, "You sent the entire Seventeen to watch over me like hawks!" 

Jonghyun furrows his eyebrows in confusion as he brings in their suitcases. "What are you talking about, I only asked Seungcheol." 

Aron wails in dismay as he recalls the entire Seventeen knocking over his carefully arranged stack of laundry on the first day that they had come to check on him. "You know that they come as a package deal!" He is prevented from saying any more by Minki's happy shriek as he launches himself onto Aron and nuzzles his face into his hair. 

"We've all missed you so, so much!" Minki cheers, showering Aron with long overdue affection, "Did you watch me on the TV? I was handsome, right?" 

Aron swats Minki's wandering arms away and sets him down on the sofa, enraptured in Minki's tales of what happened during the filming but didn't air. He makes his way to his bedroom, sinking down onto his bed with a sigh, remembering how it seems like only yesterday that he was lying here awake, fearing for Nu'est's future and feeling nervous about Produce 101. 

And just like that night, Minhyun clambers into bed with him and throws a leg over Jonghyun's midsection, propping his head up with an arm. Only today, Minhyun will be gone tomorrow morning and Jonghyun will be alone. "Jonghyunnie." Minhyun calls, running his palm over Jonghyun's bicep.

Jonghyun hums noncommittally and squeezes his eyes shut. Minhyun shakes him again and whines. "Jonghyunnie, look at me, come on." He pulls Jonghyun's eyelid away from his eye and stares straight at him. "Hey."

"What is it, Minhyunnine?" Jonghyun asks, "It's late, we should sleep."

Minhyun hesitates, hand twisting in the old blanket that has stayed with Jonghyun for about three years now, "Remember in the car? What you promised me?"

Jonghyun's ears perk up. "Yeah? What about that?"

"Well, I-I need something to hold on to," Minhyun swallows, "A promise, that you'll wait for me."

"I've been waiting for you for so long already," Jonghyun says softly, rolling around to face him, "What makes you think I would stop now?"

Minhyun doesn't say anything, but he bites his bottom lip. It's probably out of nervousness, at least, that's what Jonghyun thinks until Minhyun is leaning in and planting a kiss on his lips. Jonghyun squeaks in surprise but kisses back, savouring the few precious seconds that he's only ever dreamt of.

Then, the moment ends and Minhyun is backing away from him, gathering his composure and scrambling back before he runs out of the room. Jonghyun sits there on his bunk, blanket pooling around his waist, completely and utterly lost. His phone pings and Jonghyun reaches out for it, reads the message and sets his phone down blankly. He pulls the covers back over his body and goes back to sleep.

He goes to sleep without thoughts in his head. He doesn't know what to think. 

So he doesn't.

 

 

**황제 Emperor Hwang**

I'm sorry

_Sent Today, 23:17_

 

 

Minhyun doesn't come back to their room that night. He stays with Dongho and leaves for the Wanna One dormitory early in the morning with his clothes and things packed. The only reminder that he ever lived in the dorm is the sweater he wore to sleep the previous night, stuck in the washing machine with the rest of their laundry.

Jonghyun grips the soft material of the sweater between his hands and furiously blinks away tears. Dongho rests a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It's okay," Dongho says, "He told me to tell you goodbye for him." 

Jonghyun chuckles bitterly, bringing the sweater closer to his face. "It's not okay right now," His tears soak the fabric and his hands tighten into fists, crumpling the soft fabric, "I'll be okay, but just not now." He doesn't know what he expected, it's such a Minhyun thing to do to steal his heart and then run away.

 

* * *

 

The company gives Nu'est a second chance as Nu'est W(ait). Jonghyun thinks it's ironic. They're given the sheet music for If You and Jonghyun is reminded of Daybreak and the happy smile that had broken across Minhyun's face when he realised that he would get a solo with Jonghyun. He shakes his head. Now is not the time to think of Minhyun, but it's so hard when everything reminds him of his best friend. 

Or have they become something less?

Jonghyun focuses on writing his lyrics, translating thoughts and feelings into words on paper. He's writing his lyrics for L.O.ㅅ.Es, scribbling down what he wants to say to them. Aron snatches his sheet of lyrics away from him. 

" _We are drawn on the same canvas / but your colour isn’t filled in the picture_ ," Aron reads, eyebrows knitting together in confusion, " _If only I could see you again /_ _if only I could smile with you_?" Aron waves the paper in front of Jonghyun's face. "Jonghyunnie, do you really miss Minhyun that much?" 

"What?" Jonghyun reaches for the paper. "Hyung, what do you mean?" 

"Here -  _I haven’t forgotten / Your beautiful voice / Your smiling face_ \- Jonghyun-ah, that's literally Minhyun right there. Everyone can see how much you adore his smile." 

Jonghyun chews on his bottom lip and rearranges his fringe. Huh, he did write that, didn't he. "It's a love song for the fans," He rebuts weakly, "It's not for Minhyun and it's not about him." 

Aron snorts. "Sure, keep telling yourself that. You may be able to fool yourself, but not me." He taps his temple. "I'm smarter than you think, don't discredit me." 

Jonghyun nods and shoos Aron away. He steps into the recording booth and readies himself to record his rap. The producer gives him a thumbs up and he begins to rap, pouring in his everything to finish the song and convey his thanks for L.O.ㅅ.Es. He launches himself into the second verse and his throat suddenly gets clogged up with emotions and he chokes, unable to continue. 

"Jonghyun-ssi, are you okay?" The producer asks. 

"Yes," Jonghyun holds his earphones away from his ears, "Got a little carried away there. I'm sorry!" 

"No, don't be!" The produce laughs. "You had great emotion, let it all out but remember to be able to finish your verse!" 

"Okay, I've got it!" Recording wraps up successfully after that without any more hiccups from him. There's a niggling feeling that feels like emptiness but Jonghyun pushes it to the back of his mind, refusing to even think about it. He returns to the dorm and collapses on his bunk, the room strangely quiet without Minhyun's awkward laughter and his soothing presence. 

He picks up his phone and looks at their chat log. 

 

**Onibugi**

It's fine

Can we meet up?

_Sent 3 Jul, 2017 21:49_

 

**Onibugi**

How are you?

_Sent 10 Jul, 2017 03:34_

 

Minhyun hasn't responded, but he has read his texts. Jonghyun takes solace in this. Maybe it's time to let Minhyun go, Jonghyun thinks to himself, maybe he should let go of this love that was doomed to fall through the cracks from the start. He swings his legs up and it hits the bunk above his and something falls down. Jonghyun moves to pick it up. 

In his haste to leave, Minhyun forgot his diary. 

Jonghyun flips it open to the first page, feeling like he's intruding on Minhyun's privacy, but he needs answers. He steels himself and begins reading. 

 _Dear diary,_ the first entry reads,  _I met someone my age today. He's cool. His name is Kim Jonghyun, and he's my new best friend. He promised me today that we'll debut together, and I trust him. He's the type of person I can trust easily._  

_Dear diary, Nu'est is doing so well for our debut song! Jonghyun's our leader and I trust him even more since he kept his promise of debuting together. I think we'll stay together for a long time. A fan asked me today where I'd see myself in 10 years, I didn't say this, but I thought that for sure, I'll be with Jonghyun and nothing will have changed. I'll be a little older and maybe more wrinkly, but Jonghyun will probably be the same. He ages backwards, you see._

_Dear diary, we're not doing so well. The company isn't doing much to help either and I don't think we can ask them for more comebacks with our current financial status. We already have so much incurred debt... Jonghyun says we'll be fine and that we'll pull through... I trust him._

_Jonghyun said that we're going on Produce 101. I agreed because Jonghyun's only ever made the right choices when it comes to us. I just hope that I won't be alone, without him at any stage. Things will be hard then. But, if something does happen and he moves on without me, I think I might have to do something drastic. To keep him for myself._

_I got into Wanna One. Jonghyun didn't._

Jonghyun swallows numbly and turns the last page. This one is crumpled and the ink is blurred as if Minhyun had cried while writing the final written diary entry before fleeing and taking Jonghyun's heart with him.

 _Jonghyunnie, I know you're reading this._  Jonghyun can practically hear Minhyun's voice in his heart, reading out the letter to him. He can picture Minhyun scribbling furiously in the journal, tears staining the final page as he tucks it into his bed haphazardly and leaves.  _In_ _the two years that I'm not here, you're bound to find my journal. And, I did something to you that will definitely make you want to find answers here, so I'm sure you're reading this. I really am sorry Jonghyun, for all the negative feelings you must be feeling now. But I'm not sorry for the kiss. I'm not sorry for something I've yearned for, for so long. I pulled away Jonghyun, not because I don't like you (you don't just kiss someone you don't have feelings for) but because I cannot let myself continue selfishly living this fantasy of mine. You've always been so selfless, and I don't deserve you. I'm not expecting you to wait for me to return, after what I've done, but I hope you will. Maybe things will go better and I can truly and wholeheartedly confess to you. Jonghyun-ah, right now, I'm just a coward who cannot live without you and these two years is going to be torture. It's the least punishment I can get, but please, just stay there and wait for me? Selfishly, I'll say this now before I can say it to you in person: I love you. Love, Your Minhyunnie._

Jonghyun feels the tears flowing afresh as he rereads the last line over and over again. Minhyun loves him? Relief floods him and he sinks in a boneless heap on the floor, knees feeling weak and head feeling light. If Jonghyun was gripping onto his memory of Minhyun with one hand, he is now holding on for his dear life with two hands. This love will not fall through the cracks. 

He'll hold on and he'll wait for Minhyun, until he returns. He pulls on Minhyun's sweater, eyes following the words on the paper again. Minhyun loves him and that is enough for Jonghyun to stay here and wait for his return. 

 

* * *

 

 

The snow is falling gently outside and Jonghyun reaches a hand out to catch a falling snowflake. Nu'est is doing well, they've won first place on music shows, and so have Wanna One. Their schedules have never collided, something Jonghyun isn't all too happy about, but it's also something he doesn't intend to dwell on for very long. He's watching old reruns of Wanna One Go and laughing about the differences between it and Nu'est TV with the rest of the members, when the doorbell rings. 

Jonghyun's heart leaps into his throat. He wrenches open the door, and the pizza man stands before him, holding out five big boxes of pizza.

Tears prick at Jonghyun's eyes as disappointment licks in his belly. Maybe the snow was too heavy and Minhyun couldn't make it back on time. His shoulders slump dejectedly despite knowing that he'll only have to wait another day for Minhyun's return. 

"Thanks," Jonghyun mutters as he takes the pizza in. Aron whoops and grabs the boxes from him, dashing to the sofa and flipping open the boxes of food. The mouthwatering smell of pizza fills the small dormitory and Jonghyun turns to go and dig into the pizza. 

"Excuse me, please pay for the pizza." Something stops Jonghyun in his tracks. His head swivels around slowly, heart too fearful to believe as he stares into Minhyun's adoring eyes. Minhyun pulls the pizza delivery cap off of his head and shakes his head of hair. "Long time no see, Jonghyunnie." 

Jonghyun leaps into his arms, practically sobbing in happiness. "You're home." 

Minhyun tightens his hold around Jonghyun's midsection. The scent of his cologne tickles Jonghyun's nose and he buries his face in Minhyun's collarbone. Minhyun tilts his head up and plants a lingering kiss on Jonghyun's lips in the doorway. "You didn't wait long, did you?" Minhyun murmurs against Jonghyun's lips. "I'm sorry for making you wait so long for me to come back and to come to my senses." 

"Shut up," Jonghyun throws his head back and laughs, "You're here now, isn't that what matters?" 

 

The long and arduous wait is over, and the best part is, Jonghyun has Minhyun by his side. 

And he's here to stay. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> emma!! thank you for writing that onghwan that was dedicated to me, A++ i love it so much and ily too you're too nice!! 
> 
> (sometimes i can't reply to your messages because my mom takes my phone i really am a smol aren't i, but i appreciate you so so so so so so much!!) 
> 
> ahaha now you know why I couldn't give details about this 2hyun to you?
> 
> this is for you!!
> 
> love you lots


End file.
